You probably know more about this than I do but,… Making disclaimers is one of the ways that you are undermining your power as a woman. I don’t know much about it, but I think I heard,… that women water down what we’re saying so we don’t appear too smart, too bossy, or “too much” of anything. Or, we can use it as a cop out, so that we don’t have to be responsible if the idea doesn’t work or isn’t liked. Own what you are saying.
Assuming they’ll say no. Even without a disclaimer, when you came from a fear that someone will say no it comes through in the way you convey yourself. When you share something you believe in and assume that of course they’ll see the value, it is way more enrolling. There is no need to make a story about how they’ll respond. Share yourself fully and give them the chance to answer for themselves.
Not making a direct request. Ever have the vague friend who texts things like “maybe let’s connect later?” It takes 15 more minutes to get down to it. Or, it remains nebulous and confusing for the rest of the day. How about the more powerful pal that texts, “Coffee at Clyde’s tomorrow at 10am?” Yes! She knows what she wants and asks for it. When you communicate in a way that’s clear, concise, and easily understood the first time, you are showing up in your power and being respectful of other’s time.
Not giving a due date is another way that you could be undermining your power. When you’re collaborating on a project or have assigned a task, make sure everyone is committed to a due date. Leaving it loosey goosey doesn’t serve you or them. It causes confusion and frustration. Let go of any story about being too strict, demanding, or “too much” of anything. Have them tell you what date would work for them and get aligned on an agreed date so all are on board.
Saying yes to a due date that doesn’t really work for you is another sneaky thing to watch out for! How many times have you said yes when you know it’s going to be a squeeze and you’ll have to compromise something else (your self-care)? Let’s call it out: We do this so we can be agreeable, likable, people-please, and prove ourselves. Some of us want to prove we’re Wonder Woman to them, some want to prove it to ourselves. Some do it for the secret payoff of beating ourselves up when we miss the date to create more evidence that they’re “not good enough.” Agree to what really works for you and allow yourself to enjoy honoring your word.
Being attached to someone saying yes to your offer is a sure way of undermining your power. It’s coming from a scarcity belief that there aren’t enough money, clients, opportunities or whatever to go around. That heavy energy is felt. You’ve felt it before. You know. People don’t say yes when they feel they’re being convinced. They want to be inspired, invited, and intrigued. When you share from your passion and commitment without being attached, you are magnetic. You give the gift of holding them capable to say yes or no. And, you attracting the people who are truly aligned with your values and offerings.